Dated 14-May-2009

What am I doing here,
In this office?
With plots, and plans
And data and calculations
Dry and life-sucking
Like a hungry tick on my soul
I’m using all that math
You never thought you’d use
When you learned it in school
I can’t complain too much
The hours are low
The pay is high
The work is easy, in its way
But it’s not me.
Ok, so it’s a part of me
I have to admit that
But it’s not all of me
And the other part has been slipping away
The part with the ink
The piercings
The cursing, the drinking
The FUCK YOU!
Fuck you, fuck me
I want it back
But really, Is it worth getting back
And giving up the comfort
The security
The ease
Where is the middle road?
Where is the punk rock corporate Buddha
To take me by the hand
And lead me through the dharma gates
Of art and science and life and work?
What direction do I go?
When all I have is right here
Really,
That’s all any of us has,
Right here
Right now,
Right THIS.