Dated 25-March-2011

I want this taint removed,
The stain of grief and life and age
Returned to youthful ignorance
Damage healed, scars erased,
Returned to ignorance of life

Dated 6-March-2010

The Cycles come together
Chains are what they make

Chains that bind
Chains that choke
Chains that blind
It’s time they’re broke

It’s time to stop the cycle
It’s time for the chains to break

Dated 9-February-2009

I have always found it easy to be a martyr
First of all I don’t NEED to deal with the problem
I plant my feet
I let what happens happen
I let the bad wash over me like a wave

Secondly I get to play the pity card
Oh, people of the world feel sorry for
See what has been done to me
The pain that has been heaped upon me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

Wait,
Skip that last part
Don’t heal me
If I’m healed you won’t feel sorry for me
You won’t love me
You won’t see the sad little boy who needs a hug

Thirdly I get to sit with myself righteousness
This was done TO me
AGAINST me
Inflicted UPON me
I couldn’t save myself
(Wouldn’t)
[Shouldn’t]
I’m in the right and I have been wronged
I have been hurt
I have been slammed

All I had to do in the first place was walk away
All I had to do was say “NO”
All I had to do was say “I don’t want this”
All I had to do was something.

But then, I wouldn’t be the martyr
You wouldn’t feel sorry for me
You wouldn’t offer me love and support
You wouldn’t be my friend

Without my pain
Or self-righteousness
To keep me company
I’d be alone

Dated 27-January-2009

you are like the moon
phases comes, phases go
waxing and waning
full to new to full

make up your mind you lunatic

Dated 19-January-2009

I’m tired of you
I’m tired of giving you power
I’m tired of you still being in control
Even after 2 years

You tried to destroy me
But I am still here
You tried to undo me
But I have put myself back together

I am better
I am stronger
I am smarter
I am the six million dollar fucking man
Reassembled
After the shit storm crash
That was you and I

It’s over
You’re done
You’re shit
I’m wiping you off my shoe

Breathing a sigh of relief
I look forward to the new days
The new ways
In which I am living my life
Safe
Secure
And best of all
ME.

Dated 5-November-2008

I am dancing,
though not in the streets
I am dancing,
though the tune’s bitter sweet
I am dancing
for hope and for change
I am dancing
a bright future’s in range

I am dancing
but the dance won’t last long
I am dancing
We’ll need to be strong

There’s a battle ahead
and the fight’s up steep hills
There’s a battle ahead
and we’ll need out steeled wills

there’s a battle ahead
for both right and good
there’s a battle ahead
against greed and falsehood

But now I’m dancing
for we now might advance
But now I’m dancing
For at least there’s a chance

Dated 17-October-2008

Learning to crawl
Learning to walk
Learning to try

Learn how to smile
Learn how to laugh
Learn how to cry

Learning to live
Learning to love
Learning to fly

Learn how to age
Learn to grow old
Learn how to die

Dated 14-October-2008

I saw myself today in the mirror
The way I used to be
Peaking out from behind my tussled hair
Before I combed it back with my fingers
And sent myself back into hiding

I saw the child
He wasn’t upset by his dirty hands
Or the stains on his shirt
He didn’t try to hide his open smile
Or his ready frown

I saw the man inside
He wasn’t stressed and angry
He wasn’t hurt and confused
He wasn’t jaded and damaged
He was clean and open to the world

I saw myself as I can be
Devoid of the garbage and scars
Amassed through the years
And tended to like a garden of weeds
Plentiful but fruitless

As saw myself as I want to be
I saw myself as I AM
If only I can learn to let go
If only I can learn to let be
If only I can learn to be me

Dated 22-August-2008

The white bag sits on the counter
Its red, blue and yellow spots can be seen
From my seat at the table
Mommy gives me a slice while I wait.

I rip off the crusts and eat them first
Squish, squish making the bread flat
I fold it in half, squish, squish
In half again, squish, squish

Again, squish, Squish
Forming the bread into the smallest cube I can
AMAZING how little actual bread there is in the slice
It’s a Wunder. Chomp

In the meantime, I can hear the sizzle
Of the boloney hitting the frying pan.
I can smell the butter and meat
see the red “skin” in the counter

As the boloney sits in the pan
I can see in my head the smiles forming
Where mommy cuts the slices
So, they don’t bubble up when they fry.

Two more slices of bread come from the bag
Both slathered with mayonnaise
Never mustard, mustard is gross
So, I get Mayonnaise

The boloney hot from the pan
Placed between the white slices
Melts the mayo into the bread
Warming the sandwich from the inside out

A plate, A glass of milk
Lunch is served
Thanks mommy
Chomp.