Dated 12-January-2009

My existence is pockets of clarity
Opening in the fog of my life
Glimpses of the world as it is
Not as I view it.
Scenes not hidden
By the backdrops I push into view
Sweet
Simple
Unfettered
Free to be what it truly is.

I have no idea why the caged bird sings
We all sing
We are all in cages
We all sing
Though we sometimes forget the words
We all sing
Though sometimes out of tune
We all sing

But mostly we hear others
Their songs
Their melodies
Their rhythms
And sour notes
Forgetting our own song
Our own words
Our own lives
Ourselves
My existence is pockets of clarity
Or maybe it’s all just fucked

Dated 11-October-2008

The people who erected you are gone
moved on to other projects
erecting moments from the past
to call forth into the present
a time and place no longer known
but guessed at written by the victors
true history a story forgotten

Dated 14-June-2008
=====================

Does the dream set the mood,
Or does the mood set the dream
Do we have mood while we sleep,
Are they as linked as they seem?

Dated 1-May-2008

Spring fever is leaving me achy
My soul is weak and shaky
My brain is tired and flaky

Alone is nor a good feeling
It often leaves me reeling
I’m in need of profound healing

Am I destined to be alone?
Is there a way I can atone?
Can you please throw me a bone?

This poem’s pretty bad
Its says how I am sad
I’ve nothing more to add.

Dated 14-March-2008

its 3:30 AM,
I’ve been up for an hour
I have no idea why
stupid brain.
Was it the nap I took at 4pm yesterday?
Was it the 24 ounces of coffee I had before going to bed?
I dunno,
yawn

stupid brain
but I am on 2 hours sleep.
I tried to go back to sleep
after drinking a glass of iced tea
but I couldn’t.
stupid brain
Pause for editing
yawn

stupid brain
so I am on here now
unable to sleep
writing perhaps the worst poem
Of my entire life
It didn’t start as a poem
just a tired man
sleep deprived
from excessive napping
or excessive coffee
I dunno
speaking in phrases
now its a poem
and I am inflicting it on you
muahahahahahaaaaaaa
yawn stupid brain

Dated 7-March-2008
======================

Your ass is lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have sores that ooze and seep,

And antibiotics in which to steep,

And antibiotics in which to steep.

Dated 15-July-2007
===================

Drunk
Yay
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Had a good time tonight:
2 kamikazes,
3 shots of José Cuervo
I have no idea how much beer.
No one yelled at me,
no fights,
just fun.
YAY!!!!!!!!
I will look at this again
in the morning
and say
“what?!?!?!”

Dated 30-May-2007
=====================

I’m pretty much in a mood to give up.
All I want to do is lie in bed,
Covers over my head
Pretending the world doesn’t exist.

I’m just tired of dealing with anything
EVERYTHING.
It’s all too much for me right now;
I have left my self with no mental reserves
to fall back on. It’s all out there
and its spread so thin
I can feel the wind through it.

The stress of the move,
the stress of the foreclosure,
the stress of being alone,
the stress of not wanting to be alone,
the stress of not wanting to be with someone.

It’s all too much.
I want it over.
Where is my rock?

Dated 23-May-2007
=====================

I’m not enjoying packing up my house.
Picking up each item
Things acquired over the years
And assigning it worth:
Keep, trash or sell?

Each bit rehashing memories.
Where did I get this?
Why?
From whom?

Memories of the ex coming flooding back.
Things bought in moments of happiness
Before the fall
And descent into hell.
Gifts given out of love
Before the anger
And insanity.

These items have their own treatment.
They get a box and are thrown
Sold
Or given away
NEVER to be kept
No matter how much I may wish
To hold on