Dated 30-May-2007
=====================

I’m pretty much in a mood to give up.
All I want to do is lie in bed,
Covers over my head
Pretending the world doesn’t exist.

I’m just tired of dealing with anything
EVERYTHING.
It’s all too much for me right now;
I have left my self with no mental reserves
to fall back on. It’s all out there
and its spread so thin
I can feel the wind through it.

The stress of the move,
the stress of the foreclosure,
the stress of being alone,
the stress of not wanting to be alone,
the stress of not wanting to be with someone.

It’s all too much.
I want it over.
Where is my rock?

Dated 23-May-2007
=====================

I’m not enjoying packing up my house.
Picking up each item
Things acquired over the years
And assigning it worth:
Keep, trash or sell?

Each bit rehashing memories.
Where did I get this?
Why?
From whom?

Memories of the ex coming flooding back.
Things bought in moments of happiness
Before the fall
And descent into hell.
Gifts given out of love
Before the anger
And insanity.

These items have their own treatment.
They get a box and are thrown
Sold
Or given away
NEVER to be kept
No matter how much I may wish
To hold on

Dated 4-May-2007
====================

There are no horsemen of the apocalypse,
No entities of destruction galloping in to destroy the world,
No mad rush to oblivion with the human race as blind scared crying victims
beyond their fate and ability to control.

There are no horsemen of the apocalypse,
Only us, we humans,
With our frailties and fear and ignorance,
Slowly turning things to shit in a world of gold,
Steadily pacing backwards towards ignorance
And n conceit
And self-absorbed self interest.

We are the horsemen, but we don’t rush in,
We slowly chip away at the statues of giants
Upon whose shoulders we stand
And can’t live up to the heights.
Bit by bit we erode the stone of our foundation
And leave ourselves on rocky ground heading toward and unsteady future.

Human rights, human dignity human joy and respect
Sold and stolen for the buck it can generate,
The minds and bodies of the young raped
For the pleasure and gratification of the older generation,
Regardless of the quivering masses of crying crippled damaged children
Who we bring into this world.

There are no horsemen of the apocalypse,
Not sudden riots of war, famine, pestilence and death.

We create our own wars for oil, and gold and false ideals
That we wish to impose on the world around us we don’t understand.

We create out own famine by feeding out children food full of flavor
But empty of nutrition.

We create our own pestilence by polluting our rivers and soil
With chemicals and poisons in order to live a better life
And get a better yield in the name of gluttony.

We create out own death,
Yet fear this natural extension of life
As if it was the opposite of life and not life’s destination.
Keeping people alive beyond their years in misery and pain and brainless
Machine supported living deaths worthy of the worst horror films.

There are the horsemen of the apocalypse,
Staring back at you from the mirror,
Smiling back at you as you do your hair
And brush your teeth
Daily ablutions preparing to face
The Armageddon of our own creation.

Dated 10-May-2008
====================

fuck all you assholes
fuck you right in the ear
I don’t want to know it
I don’t want to hear
your sniveling protests
your whiny complaints
your shoulds and you shouldn’ts
your ares and your ain’ts

Dated 27-September-2006
===========================

When I was a child, I thought I knew it all.
I knew the sun was warm
And the night was cool
And a butterfly landing on my finger was magic.

In the years that followed
I was taught that I did not know it all.

I was taught about the planets
I was taught about the stars
I was taught biology and the basics of how things works

I was taught about taxes
I was taught about jobs
I was taught to balance a checkbook
I was taught stress, and anxiety and frustration.

I was taught there is no magic.

I continued being taught through the years,
Then I needed to search,
Which lead to wanting to learn.

Now that I have lived a good deal of my life
I have decided to grow.

I know many more things now

Then I did as that child
But I have realized some very important lessons.

I know the sun is warm
And the night is cool
And a butterfly landing on my finger IS magic.

Dated 30-March-2005
=======================

“I just don’t want to steal your dream”
You can’t… Dreams can only be shared
The moment it’s something that can be stolen,
It’s no longer a dream, its an idea
Ideas have a life of their own, and can die
Where as dreams are immortal, and never die,
They just fade away as the dreamer forgets,
Or dreams a different dream.

Dated 4-June-2005
====================

I want to drive a nail,
right into my head,
just to break the boredom,
not to make me dead

I want to drive a nail,
right into my head,
’cause the pain that it would cause,
is better then this dread

I want to drive a nail,
right into my skull,
just to break the boredom,
of this job that’s oh so dull.

Dated 4-June-2005
====================

I am not an artist
I have recently come to this thought
for I have no passion
there is nothing that I cannot live without
nothing I need to share
nothing that needs to be
nothing
I cannot draw
or paint
or sing
or dance
I can manipulate words
but is this art
I sometimes think not
at least not what I do
I just spout shit
and sometimes a flower grows
sometimes a weed
sometimes nothing
but the steady stink of shit
I am not an artist
unless I can excrete
art from my ass

Dated 16-August-2004
=======================

We like to dance the night away,
In the bars both straight and gay,
Smoking, Drinking, what the hey,
I raise a glass unto my Friend.

Chick-flicks and a glass of wine,
Expensive meals on which to dine,
Witty barbs both yours and mine,
I raise a glass unto my Friend.

To corporate ‘dos you are my date,
Of Love gone bad to you relate,
I’d marry you if I were straight,
I raise a glass unto my Friend.

But I am queer, and firmly so,
And now I have myself a beau,
But I love you badly even so,
I raise a glass unto my Friend.